Jessica

so weird!

jtoesock@gmail.com — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 21:50:50 GMT

oh....hello...

i've just revisited old posts and i'm so embarrassed!

ummmm.....updates:
-i graduated college.
-i live in los angeles now.
-i just realized that i stopped posting when i got a boyfriend two and a half years ago.
-i'm failing at finding a grown-up job.
-art is still hard.
-i am still awkward.
-also, i look nothing like my user pic anymore.

see you later???

UPDATE

jtoesock@gmail.com — Mon, 30 May 2005 03:03:32 GMT

SUMMER OF BAD DECISIONS has been a success so far.

examples:

1) slip and slides

2) cookouts

3) knife fights

PREASE

jtoesock@gmail.com — Wed, 27 Apr 2005 15:19:14 GMT

jtoesock@gmail.com — Thu, 14 Apr 2005 00:18:05 GMT

(more prints later)

BRAAAAIIINNNSSSS

jtoesock@gmail.com — Mon, 11 Apr 2005 04:02:13 GMT

Let's get married.

Spring Break.

jtoesock@gmail.com — Sat, 12 Mar 2005 12:20:38 GMT

Hiiiiiii.

I am in Jacksonville and I am sitting in the dark on the internet listening to the same John Lennon song over and over again because I cannot fall back to sleep.

I don't know why I still think that I need to be drinking every night to have fun while I am here, it's really not so bad, but that's probably because I am only here for a weekend. I haven't had a drink once while on break in Tallahassee......wait......I just remembered that that wasn't true, I settled for vodka in lemonade every night while watching really bad television alone in my apartment and trying to decide when to go home (BTW, I drank some of your vodka, Katie and Cortney. Pay you back, promise). But Jacksonville Glasses of Whiskey and the hookah bar with my "legal" Red Stripes really were fun, even though most of the kids around us were all kinds of seventeen-year-old pretentiousness. And, surprise, my parents actually like the tattoo, I don't know why I am disappointed that I wasn't yelled at. I reeeeeeaaaaalllly love them.

So now the sun is up. I think today I will go to Barnes and Noble and be a lurker, drawing people while they are reading. It's a real homework assignment, I swear.

No, really. It's due on Monday.

(BTW, some day I will write an entry in which I am not talking about drinking all the time, promise.)

DUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE

jtoesock@gmail.com — Thu, 10 Mar 2005 15:34:15 GMT

ONE</iu>:

TWO:

jtoesock@gmail.com — Mon, 07 Mar 2005 21:23:13 GMT

1/30/05

jtoesock@gmail.com — Thu, 24 Feb 2005 07:07:12 GMT

Hello, I'm Neurotic....

jtoesock@gmail.com — Thu, 24 Feb 2005 00:40:12 GMT

....and I'm really fucking tired of it!

Something I found that I wrote a month ago, entitled "I Smell Like Sawdust":
This weekend I learned a lot of things about myself and other people. Much of it was upsetting news, but I can't remember the last time it was ever the opposite. Mix in a bottle of wine and bad bad decisions and there you have it, another weekend in Tallahassee. I wish people cared about each other. Better yet, I wish that people gave a shit at all.

Why don't I eat another emo ass Valentines cookie, I mean seriously, what was (is?) wrong with me? But I'm so glad that I finally don't give a shit at all either, it feels so much better than dwelling on lost causes. I am also much more sober than a month ago, which is fantastic, but damn I needs a new bottle of wine sometime soon in life. It really sucks that everyone I know is 21 now, I am too scared/tired of asking someone to buy alcohol for me. Being born in the summer was a bad idea.

For lent this year, I have been going to church every Sunday. But aside from that I have been a terrible Catholic since I forgot to not meat for the last two Fridays. Wish me luck on being a hypocrite.

Hey, did you guys know that Andrea (darkroomsaga) is moving into my apartment next lease? It's gonna be awesome. We need two more roommates, or else it's Random City, August 2005--any takers? You would be happy to know that in your room you get your own baffroom, mini fridge, and microwave. Please be clean and wash your dishes.

Hi, this is how I look when I first wake up, except in this picture I had been awake all day. The look on my face is, as The Dudes would say, "House of Bad Decisions".

I hate self portraits, it is the same G.D. assignment every single semester.

My Bloody Valentines

jtoesock@gmail.com — Mon, 14 Feb 2005 08:30:35 GMT

UPDATE: (they look better in the magazine, but they taste good)

Happy V Day....or....something.

jtoesock@gmail.com — Mon, 14 Feb 2005 00:50:04 GMT

These cookies are soooo being made for Valentines Day:

Yeah, I Made A Book....Jealous?

jtoesock@gmail.com — Sat, 12 Feb 2005 06:25:17 GMT

Holy shit, I just got served you guys.

jtoesock@gmail.com — Fri, 28 Jan 2005 16:58:31 GMT

Since I didn't hand my vagina over to that kid I used to kind-of-sort-of-date right away, he is now fucking my 18-year-old roommate! AWESOME! Isn't that, like, soooo funny!?! HAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, it's really fucking funny!!!!!!!!

DAAAMMMN, GINA

jtoesock@gmail.com — Mon, 17 Jan 2005 19:44:34 GMT

Seriously. Can I go one weekend without making a fool of myself?!?!? I need to stop drinking so much. It's really terrible.

And yes. I did fall off the bed and rammed my face into a table. You know, cause I'm THAT girl. But thanks for saving me, Katie.

I also got caught talking shit about creepy boys by the creepy boys themselves. Wow, I'm also a bitch!

...Oh, and I also broke someone's heart...sorry

jtoesock@gmail.com — Thu, 06 Jan 2005 16:01:29 GMT

Why am I such a wino!?!? I drank a third of a fucking jug of sangria last night. I should not have been talking on the internet. You get the best-worst of me, Instant Messenger. Over the break I've acquired the habit of drinking in public places via covered styrofoam soda cups. Example: (1) The Avenues Mall. (2) AMC Movie Theater.

Speaking of the break......It really wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be, but the pot brownies were fun anyways. Two whole weeks of blasts from the pasts, and it was crazy as hell. I was suddenly a twenty-year-old middle schooler hanging out at fucking Hickory Creek and off of Kernan fucking Boulevard. Jacksonville is still officially my movie-watching town, because never had I been to the movies four times within a week in Tallahassee. Another thing I've noticed is that going to a Blockbuster is only unsettling in T-town because people always go as couples to rent movies, and I go by myself...everywhere. Oh Jacksonville. Sometimes I do miss you. And might I add that there was not one day when I wasn't some kind of intoxicated (someone's got a problem).

Christmas was pretty awesome too. I finally got a printer, one of those all-in-one things, and ooh! ooh! a tray to scan negatives! Mom also took me to the outlets and bought me a bunch of cute sweaters and coats and shoes, which I have yet to take advantage of here in Tallahassee because it's not nearly as cold as it was this time last year. Why, Florida!? Other random things: a candle, some 20 dollar bills, a watch, candy cigarettes (get it!?), a best buy gift card, and a partridge in a pear tree. <<<<< HAHAAAAAAA, I'm ~~such a riot~~ incapable of channeling sarcasm!

New Year's Eve was decent, even though parts of it seemed rushed, and it involved lots of driving and phone calling but thank god I wasn't wasted, because how cliche would that have been to die in a car crash on New Year's Eve?

And so that was my Winter Break 2004. Happy New Year, kids. Or should I say....'NOLE...YEAR? Yes, they really said that at the Gator Bowl.

While I'm at it....

jtoesock@gmail.com — Wed, 05 Jan 2005 22:28:40 GMT

The creepiest pictures I've ever taken from Digital Photo, Fall 2004:

Also...

jtoesock@gmail.com — Wed, 05 Jan 2005 22:22:23 GMT

I have an online portfolio from Graphic Design last semester.

For terrible elementary adobe illustrations, go here.

Why is my word for 2004 embarrassing???

Hello, My Friend, Hello

jtoesock@gmail.com — Wed, 05 Jan 2005 20:17:25 GMT

School started today, and so far I've been to one class, Photo 1. And of course on First Days, shit always ends early, so I am on "my break" in the computer lab doing that whole internet thing which is quite boring because you can only read about other random people's lives whom you do not even know in real life that live in places you have never been to for so long. I mean, come on. Livejournal??? And how embarrassing is it to be reading people's journals while I am in a public computer lab, I always have to minimize the windows so that people will not know what I am doing with my boring boring life on the internet. No offense, I just forget what productivity was like.

Before then, at my apartment, in my bedroom, I watched My Girl in its entirety on HBO while getting ready and revisiting my love for Thomas J. Last night the girls made lasagna and cake, and my god was it good. However, accompanied with a lot of sangria, Italian food makes you uncomfortably full, but did you know that already?

It's almost time for my second class today, Life Drawing, yeah the one where you draw naked people. Aren't you jealous, I get to draw penises and boobies and butts, and...pregnant women I think? Be back later, maybe I will write about my winter break...

I Don't Want Ambivalence!

jtoesock@gmail.com — Fri, 17 Dec 2004 17:21:56 GMT

Embarrasssssiiiiiiiiing!

That's all I have to say about last night. And everyone knows it too.

jtoesock@gmail.com — Thu, 16 Dec 2004 18:43:24 GMT

ART2301 04 DRAWING II A
GRA2190 02 GRAPHICS DES I/INTRO A-
PGY2941 01 PHOTO/DIGIT.IMAGING A
SPC1016 04 FUNDAMENTAL SPEECH A

HA! My semester was shitty and I still got straight A's. Take that, asshole--I WIN!

Now That Finals Are Over....

jtoesock@gmail.com — Thu, 09 Dec 2004 16:15:52 GMT

j toEsocK (1:54:10 AM): fuck that shit i am not empo

jtoesock@gmail.com — Sat, 27 Nov 2004 13:42:48 GMT

Shit.

I'm embarassed.

I was drunk in front of kids I did not know.

In Jacksonville.

What did I say?

Shit.

Don't drink and drive.

Only you can prevent forest fires.

Drink milk.

Good morning.

Eight o'clock in the morning.

I Don't Do Too Much Talking These Days

jtoesock@gmail.com — Fri, 26 Nov 2004 03:12:35 GMT

Well well well. Looks like the holidays have brought me back to you, LJ.

Happy Thanksgiving, folks. Hope the sentiment isn't too late.

Good News/Bad News: Dad is out of the hospital and home for T-Day/G-ma is in the hospital and has cancer.

Ummm, I haven't updated much lately, maybe because of how boring I am. But here's the run-though: This semester was short as hell, thanks to the GD hurricanes, and never had I been so lazy and uninspired in my life about my work/art (how cliche, how embarrasing), mostly in part to being sad about things and about myself and making big deals out of things that do not matter to other people. But homework and projects somehow got done, probably because I sacrificed a lot of sleep and proper hygiene for it (gross). Parties on weekends were weirdly enough like routine, with the same people in the same places, not like that was a bad thing, but sometimes you need a break I guess. But still you find yourself sitting in the same chair you sat in last Saturday watching boys play beer pong and then you reach in your purse to shuffle through phone numbers on your cell phone because people look cool when they talk on their cell phones at parties. On Halloween I was a girl scout via a hand-me-down last-year costume, I drank a whole bottle of wine and one beer, I said something about voting Kerry-Edwards really loud, and then I drove home like an idiot in a girl scout costume. Lots of Playing Hard to Gets and I Don't Cares and Fuck Yous in my head, are what I remember on morning afters with mascara running off my eyes and the same clothes I wore last night when I would wake up in my bed or on a couch. And when there's a football game, I will still go to it even though I don't enjoy standing up and sitting down every 5 seconds to do a Seminole Chop and cheer like a banshee because everyone else is doing it, I always end up leaving by halftime because I am drunk and cranky and most likely need to pee in a real bathroom. But last weekend was fun as hell even though there were still more I Don't Cares for the first half of it, and FSU lost to UF, but the partying in betweens were lots of awesome at tailgating and at that one house where we always go, where there were more people than usual and for once I went home not feeling entirely like shit in more ways than one at five in the morning. Now the semester is almost over, and I'm really ready for it, but not ready to go back home again for more holidays. It IS nice to see family (and I am thankful), especially in times like these, but sometimes it gets too suffocating.

Maybe I'm just an asshole.

P. Diddy Won't Be Killing Me Today--Awesome.

jtoesock@gmail.com — Tue, 02 Nov 2004 22:03:13 GMT

Moore visits 'scene of the crime'

Michael Moore drew thousands of mostly young voters to an evening rally ending his 62-city "Slacker Uprising" tour. The director of "Farenheit 9/11" traversed the country for months to urge a large turnout for Kerry. Moore said he chose Tallahassee "because this is where it all began.... This is the scene of the crime."

Moore assembled a phalanx of 16 young people with video cameras, who he said would be on call to record any problems at the polls today.

"We're not going away," he said. "When John Kerry is elected president, we'll turn our cameras on him and be sure he does his job."

Yeah. That's right. I did it. My first participation in anything activist the day before election day and all of the sudden, I'm holding a video camera right behind Michael Moore and Rosanne Barr at a press conference. It was surreal to say the least.

And then later on in the night, I found out that my Dad had a mild heartattack. Things are surely changing, friends.